Change

Today was Oprah's last show, even though i don't watch her show a lot but i still feel that after today things wont be the same and had this feeling of lose. I wonder what her loyal fans are feeling?!

Oh I thought Oprah was going to be there forever but i guess i was wrong, hey after all the only constant is CHANGE. Change i love it and hate it, i know life does not go on without it but i have some real issues with this thing. Everything changes even when you try not to change, you have changed yourself.

I look at my self now, like today, i was studying the whole day and didn't accomplish  much, i couldn't concentrate and in simple words I couldn't look at my book for more than 5 minutes in a row, ugh, i hated that. then i thought about the me before and that me was awesome she could study for hours and not complain, her brain was on fire (Maybe i burned it lol) but now i have a slow brain and low attention span.

Change is always accompanied by Adaptation or adjustment or is it the same thing, i mean you change to adapt but anyways (here it goes, my brain going off tract) I think i hate change because i suck in the adaptation/adjustment point or I'm too slow in it. I knew my brain has changed, did I adjust my studying strategy?! the answer is NO.

So, note to future me, I hope you got the adaptation process going well and if you did not do that yet then you are more screwed that me, wish you (me) the best of luck. 

Contradiction

I am probably the ultimate contradiction i know. I'm smart but always do and say stupid stuff. I'm nice and cute but a BITCH.I'm patient but so impetuous. i have the highest self-esteem and the lowest in the same time. I'm mature but childish in almost everything. I'm thin but fat. I'm beautiful but ugly. I love myself and hate it, love the way I am but cant stand it. So my life is up and down all the time, just like everyone else but so unique.

that was what i thought i should write as the answer to WHO I AM? but looking at it after a while made me wonder is it ok to have all these contradictions in ones live. is it healthy? when i look at the world  i only see contradiction, i dont see it as my friends say varieties or differences. i see that opposite to black there is white and to light there is dark and so on. so if the world is filled with such things maybe it is ok for me to be all that in one.

After that my mind takes me back again and i think, that is the world not a human being, so rules must be different. i look at people then and i see that one person can have some contradictions but not all. they have their minds set about certain things and they might have contradictions but not in the same time.

 then i ask myself, am I normal or not? but the answer to this question as much as it does not make any sense, it makes perfect sense and has always been the same for me every time: I am the contrary of normal but not abnormal